My spouse [she is a gg, but she is for all intents my Husband, and i am the housewife] found a pair of my panties in the wash.   NO, it really was an accident, not 'accidentally on purpose'.   Rather than have her suspect they belong to another

woman, i fessed up and saw a good opportunity to talk it through.   She prefers a Don't Ask Don't Tell policy.

Sigh.

Of course she knows about and sometimes gives me scented soaps; knows i wear womens' slacks; recognizes that i am the artsie, cook, home-body and soccer  mom of the family.    As for other female undies, desires, aspirations i just don't know.

Through a lot of therapy i came to recognize and accept my HerSelf as the 'real me', but only after years of marriage.

After all that time it's really hard to imagine blurting out, "Oh, by the way Hon, i'm really a woman trapped in a male body."

theresa

My wife and I started this journey together.  It was an experiment, which turned into a game, which evolved into a lifestyle.  Open communication is the key to stop a problem from happening.   If you are in the closet... getting out of the closet to save your marriage takes baby steps.

Ellen

Of course things would be so much simpler for me if i were out of the closet; just as a lot of stress was taken off when my panties were discovered.   It did not, after all mean the end of the world, my Husband did not leave me and she has even come to the point of making the occaisional comment..and not in a bad way.

Still emotionally i feel so COMFY in my little closet.   From childhood i have had difficulty with trust, with accepting that others will more often than not be supportive, with letting go of dread and enjoying this new Self i have discovered within.

Then too there is always this nagging doubt, for which my therapist chastens me, that i may be in some sort of self-delusion, some spell that only makes me THINK i am the woman in the mirror.

Sigh.

My wife has known for a little while now that i like to wear womens clothes. I have lived out my female life in the closet and unfortunately it has become a wedge between us. i dont know how to communicate with her my desires and needs and to trust her. Recently she found some pictures of me and as a result things came to a head. she didnt leave me but i need to change i'm just very scared and dont really know how to be honest with her. i'm trying to learn how to speak about my desires, when and where they should take space in my life, and just what to do in general. what a trippy journey. but she didnt kick me out and thats amazing. SHE is amazing!

I've felt trapped in a male body for as long as I can remember. I can remember getting "caught" with a pair of panties when I was about 6 or 7. You have brought up the issue of spousal acceptance, well, I have been tossed out of 3 marriages when some femme items were discovered. I have tried many many times to deny my inner female, but the more I deny it, the more miserable I become... I am in my 4th marriage now, and my current wife seems to accept that I have a inner femme, and allows me only to wear undies, nities, and lingere, while we are alone together. I am on the road alot now, and dress en femme when in private. I have not yet come out of my closet, as I am afraid of acceptance and reactions from co workers and family. I do greatly enjoy my time alone, as I cam freely be as femme as I want, however, when its time to go home again, I've got to "man up"  This is such a hard transition for me to make,and I am miserable when at home.

now after my rambling...  does anyone have any  ideas or suggestions on how I can just be myself and feel comfortable coming out of the closet? and gaining my spouses support and help in doing so??

I feel I should mention the fact that my wife is also a plus size, and has admitted jealousy that I can find prettier and sexier lingere and that I look much better than she does in such items.